Top actions of an alienating parent

Top actions of an alienating parent

Posted on March 12, 2013 by John in Brainwashing, Exposing the methods

• Doesn’t inform you of upcoming school activities (especially unexpected ones)
• Expresses no enthusiasm for fun events you’re doing with the child (vacations, amusement parks, etc)
• Limits child’s cellphone and computer usage, so you’ll rarely get a call, text, or email
• Refers to you by your first name in their home (Dad becomes “David;” Mom becomes “Julie”)
• Accomplishes a post-visitation shakedown, extracting as much info as possible to find negatives
• Hands the phone directly to the child when you call, avoiding even civil conversations with you
• Pops anti-depressant pills (as many have a history of depression)
• Able to hold resentment towards young, innocent children (ie, your children from another marriage)
• Never calls you when the child is sick or taken out of school
• Teaches the child adult things to tell you, such as “I don’t feel comfortable about the duration of our summer visitation, Dad”
• Teaches the child how to despise or hate another human being
• Labels themselves the “good” parent; labels you the “bad” parent
• Tells the child false stories about their childhood
• Tells the child in vivid detail how he or she was victimized by you (while taking no blame at all for the divorce)
• Teaches the child how to lie to you (coating their little hearts with false malice and scorn)
• Diminishes your extended family’s worth
• Neglects to have the child call you for your birthday, on New Year’s Eve, or other important dates
• Refuses to help the child reach and call/email/mail cards on relatives’ birthdays on your side of the family tree
• Uses child’s cellphone as a leash
• Rarely if ever a call to you on Father’s Day or Mother’s Day on behalf of child
• Never gets the child excited about seeing you
• Reminds the child of all that he or she will be missing while with you and away from them
• Inflicts his or her unhappiness onto the child (as alienators are deeply unhappy people)
• Attempts via a lawyer to reduce visitation to that even below family court minimum standards
• Takes the child out of state without a peep, while demands precise details whenever you travel with them
• Monopolizes the child’s time for hours on the phone (if you let them)
• Views any event in the child’s life– a distant Aunt’s birthday, a friend’s birthday, etc– as more important than their time with you
• Teaches the children from their current marriage to despise you
• Informs children of alienator’s plans for them past 18 (you’ll go to college at X, and will stay here with me)
• Is jealous of anything fun and memorable you do with the child (as they view the good times as a threat)
• Gripes about things you’re doing as a parent to the child, but says nothing to you about it
• Has outbursts around the child (extremely dramatic ones)
• Lacks a filter, spilling any adult topic into the child’s head

Brainwashing

High Level Brainwashers

Posted on July 18, 2013 by John in Brainwashing, Exposing the methods

There are degradations of parental alienation. The most severe type is perpetrated by High Level Brainwashers (HLBs).

These parents are ruthless in their efforts to eliminate their ex from the child’s life. They spend decades spinning tales of woe of what the ex did, labeling the ex every derogatory name imaginable, and doing everything possible to deny an ex physical access to “their” child.

Below is a list of the dominant characteristics and behaviors of HLBs:

• They dwell on the sins of the past. They simply cannot forgive any past grievances and ‘move on.’ They are permanently stuck in the past
• They are revenge-minded. They will commonly say things like, “I don’t get mad, I get even,” or “You’ll pay for this.” They have anger and aggression issues
• They are deeply unhappy people. Happy people don’t dwell on negatives, and allow past wrongs to weigh them down
• They have one or more psychological disorders. Bipolar, Munchausen by Proxy, or other mood/anxiety disorders
• They are frequently on medications like antidepressants to stabilize their negative moods
• They were abused or neglected as as children. The roots of an HLB’s bulldozing ways goes back to a dysfunctional childhood
• They are extremely selfish people. They are bad listeners, first and foremost. They are capable of completely disregarding the welfare of the child if it suits their own needs
• They view child as a possession. Ownership of and control of the child. They will micromanage the child’s life in the extreme
• They abuse the child on other levels. HLBs frequently physically and/or sexually abuse children as well. In short, they have no boundaries.

There is one final trait of the truly worst HLBs, and that’s the narcissistic parent. I didn’t include it in the list because only a sliver of the high level brainwashers are narcissistic. And these parents are the absolute worst abusers, and are true evil-doers at their core. They all lack a conscience. Read this article on the narcissistic parent.

HLBs are professionals at wrecking parent-child relationships. They are masters at turning their perceived victimhood into manipulative lies intent on destroying their own child’s love for the other parent. This mental child abuse that causes lasting scars, even when the child does one day realize the fraud and lies perpetrated onto them.

Sociopath (a guest post)

so·ci·o·path

  [soh-see-uh-path, soh-shee-] 

noun Psychiatry.

a person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is antisocial,often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.

Definition

By Mayo Clinic staff

Antisocial personality disorder is a type of chronic mental condition in which a person's ways of thinking, perceiving situations and relating to others are dysfunctional — and destructive. People with antisocial personality disorder typically have no regard for right and wrong and often disregard the rights, wishes and feelings of others.

Those with antisocial personality disorder tend to antagonize, manipulate or treat others either harshly or with callous indifference. They may often violate the law, landing in frequent trouble, yet they show no guilt or remorse. They may lie, behave violently or impulsively, and have problems with drug and alcohol use. These characteristics typically make people with antisocial personality disorder unable to fulfill responsibilities related to family, work or school

I wonder who reads my blog

Just curious
I wonder who reads my blog.
I look at the stats graph
and think who on Earth
is reading this lame blog.
Anyway
If you are
and you need to find out more
about Maternal
Alienation,,
Hostile Aggressive parenting
I have a lot of resources.
Or if you just like a funny story
we can share ours.
I can still laugh even though
my life has been destroyed.

BTW my
X reads my blog.

Just say NO.
--------- say no to:
Men that control you by saying it is because they love you
Rude teens
Ex husbands that are still in love with you
That next serving of pasta
Going on Facebook instead of a 3 mile walk
Letting people hurt you
Losing control of your life
Letting sorrow ruin the rest of your life
Believing the lies

See You Again by Carrie Underwood

A letter to my ex-husband (the second one)

Dear Ex Husband,
Once upon a time you were a step dad to my older kids.  You were a good step dad . I know you tried hard to be  the opposite of your step dad.
  My older kids loved you

.........................................
Please stop trying to hurt me by hurting my youngest son.
You used to be his Dad.
========================
Please let my daughters come home.
They have two homes
one with you
and one with me
They deserve to be able to
love their Mom and Dad
BOTH.
not just one.
_______________________________