I miss you

I miss you

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Am I just too sensitive?

I laugh off a lot.
and let people make fun of me
and act like it doesn't bother me
and sometimes it is funny

but most of the time it is not.
Just because I have made stupid choices in my life
doesn't mean I am stupid.
Listing of Grievances-
--oh, we should come and visit you but
it is so far... really Mom and Dad it is about 15 miles
yet you are so quick to hop in the car to drive
50 miles to see other grandchildren
or fly thousands of miles for the other.

--just read a blog post from my oldest
and the birth of her youngest daughter.
no mention of me... and I drove 45 minutes
and waited in the waiting room
and not allowed in til she was born...
that hurt and it hurt a lot.... but still
it is worse that I was not even mentioned.
just my other daughter's presence was noted.
(selfish aren't I?)
maybe I am a shitty gramma and they all hate me

--teens are well known for hurting so I won't bother
with that huge list

I am too sensitive but my life is really
bad right now and I am trying hard to
fake it.
and live.
and praise God for what I have
and pray that He returns my 3 youngest children to me\
with all this torture
any other pain
is difficult to tolerate.
Sometimes I feel blessed just to have a
stranger be kind
they don't know me
they don't judge me.

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