Narcissistic Supplyis more addictive than heroin, cocaine and any drug on the market. But what is “Narcissistic Supply” anyway?
If you read any half-way helpful article or book about narcissists, it’s a term that will pop up repeatedly because “supply” is the nugget that defines, depresses, delights, drives and destroys narcissists.
Narcissistic supply is any attention, energy, life, help, support, acknowledgement or approval anyone gives a narcissist for any reason, positive or negative, that FEEDS their pathetic, obsessive, craving for attention.
Narcissistic supply can come from a job, profession, skill set, organization, talent or lifestyle, but it most often comes from another person: spouse, child, employee, friend, co-workers who interact with the narcissist.
“The term “narcissistic supply” was used by psychoanalyst Otto Fenichel in 1938 in describing the way in which a narcissistic individual “requires a ‘narcissistic supply’ from the environment in the same way as the infant requires an external supply of food”. “
If you happen to be the person the narcissist draws that attention from, know that they will do anything to ensure it keeps coming in, and will fly into a narcissistic rage if it is removed, diminished or cut off for any reason. If you’re thinking you must be special to be able to supply something the narcissist needs so badly, think again.
The narcissist does not consider the person who is his/her supply as a person at all. If you’re supplying your narcissist you may find yourself being treated as if you are a part of the narcissist. “In the mind of a narcissist, there is no boundary between themselves and other people.” You have no identity, reason or purpose other than to feed them what they want. They’re the leech and you’re the host and they are out to suck every ounce of life out of you that they can.
Who is most likely to be a narcissistic magnet? Co-dependents seem to be very attracted to narcissists and vice-versa, but:
Anyone, male or female, who expresses awe, wonder, gratitude or praise for the narcissist’s accomplishments and performance, looks, skill set, talent or anything else
Anyone who expresses unending gratitude for anything he has ever done for you, said to you, or told you (if you don’t remember, he’ll remind you)
Anyone who expresses sympathy and agreement with his self-perception that he is God’s gift to an undeserving world
Anyone who puts the narcissist’s needs ahead of their own
Anyone willing to join “his team,” and show righteous indignation for his suffering, which is far greater than most and always undeserved no matter what
Anyone who shows adoration and compliments for his brain, body, spiritual health , job, car, home, clothing, style, and wisdom, etc.
Anyone willing to give up their time, money, attention, life or needs in order to meet all the needs of the narcissist
Anyone who shows tacit agreement that he or she is special, misunderstood by the masses, under-appreciated and special
Anyone who will acknowledge that the narcissist is entitled, special and above the common people and who should not be subject to normal rules and regulations
Anyone willing to overlook the occasional, or repeated violations and exploitation of them for any reason
Anyone who fails to recognize or acknowledge the narcissist’s narcissistic behavior in any way
will also make a great narcissist supply.
Don’t get us wrong. It’s not like the narcissist will cling to you forever. The second they find someone with more supply than you, they’re gone. They will leave you in a heartbeat and never look back. Heaven help you if you leave them first tho! You’re likely to experience a narcissistic rage that will cool only after they’ve “punished” you for leaving them!
Narcissists are always looking for someone better than you. And by “better,” that means someone who is more exciting, better looking, richer, higher on the social scale, or who possesses any traits or things the narcissist believes will make THEM appear better