Abridged guide to parenting- Divorced version

*Move out of state if the judge allows
*Homeschool the children to avoid the possibility that X may become a 'community volunteer' in your child's classroom-thus biasing the teacher against you. Especially when you forget the parent/teacher conference or send Godiva into school on gym day in a sari and high heels
*Live off the grid. No phone, no internet. Makes it harder for kids to be poisoned against you & and they can't call X every time you skip out to the bar.
*Work outside the home but never let it interfere with the kids' activities... basically work from 9 PM to 6 AM so you will be home to get them ready for their day of education and activities. __NO sleep for you.
*Do not celebrate your hard won custody. The wolf is lurking at your door. One mistake and the babies are gone.
*Put your foot down. Don't try to get your kids to like you. I made this mistake - giving in to their demands. They still hate me and I never get any respect nor any help around the house.
*If your state allows it, continue to punish them in a physical way. ... if not take I-pods, laptops, cell phones. I hide the kids' electronics in my locked car, in my underwear drawer, in the dishwasher-(it's broken)
*Stop wasting your time printing out chore charts-
*Duct tape is quite often your best choice
*Encourage them to pursue higher education and guarantee that X will pay for it.
*Make them pay their way as soon as possible. -- this does work.. I have 3 grown kids that are fully self supporting. YAYA cuz soon I'll be living with them
*Don't get mad (don't let the kids or X see you get mad) JUST get even. (legally)

LOSS

Today I learned of 2 losses of life.  From two different parts of my life.  One a girl I went to High School with.  She died in a fire at her house.   30 years ago we graduated.
Another a lovely woman 4 days from her 32nd birthday.  She was a veteran.  She devoted her career to healing veterans and their families.  Healing us of the wounds that do not show.  

Nursery

If I had another girl
If I had another boy


Hmmm  but I guess the family decorator is safe now
since I have no uterus (nor husband)

----  off she goes to decorate 3000 miles away..
.  I was not the favorite child.
I was never congratulated for a pregnancy
just told I would die from it.
----shit
I have to get over these hard feelings.
but
really?
the sharp divide between me and the favored
sons is nauseating.
yet I love my brothers even more
because of it.
God Bless them

Almost fooled by a predator

Thankful for another submission from a guest blogger....
 what would I do without you all  ♥

well, actually she just emailed me this but ... maybe
she will blog soon.
***************************************************************
  Let's call her fool me once

"I was almost fooled once.
so  tempted by his charms
and openness
that I almost believed his lies
and fed him===  A WOLF==
 my children.

He was sly and cunning in an
undefinable way.

understanding to to world of
a single mother
and her brood.
  watch out for him
he will tell you his weaknesses
and how others mistake his
intentions.
He will blame their confusion
on ignorance.

He will get you to trust him
and feel safe with him.

Black Sheep (a guest posting- Anonymous)

So I ponder my black-sheepedness (and the fun of made up words)


I have had children out of wedlock,
been divorced.
Made bad choices in men.

Yet ....
oh ya never mind./
   my kids must be not as important as my sister's children
cuz otherwise  Momma would love them just as much,
right?

oh, I guess the drive down 2 exits is way too far..
Yet. good ole Momma is able to hop on a bus and travel two states
away to help with my sister's kids.

Ya, I can do the math.

(Thank- you to Anonymous for her guest posting this week---  if you would like to be a guest 'poster' ;) feel free to email me)

Overwhelmed

This picture sums it up.
When I am pulled in one too many directions
I just shut down.

I will reply to requests with the above

this is where all your stuff is going


maybe I should work
outside the home FULL Time---  part-time only is just
too exhausting.

someone to take the children
to their appointments, sports, play dates.  someone to clean and cook for us,
send out birthday cards, plan parties, pay the bills, do laundry, get the car
serviced, walk the dog, rub my back.....

what I really need is a back hoe.
and a dumpster.

If you run into my kids at their numerous activities and such remind them that their mom is almost 50
and getting tired.