I miss you

I miss you

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Am I just too sensitive?

I laugh off a lot.
and let people make fun of me
and act like it doesn't bother me
and sometimes it is funny

but most of the time it is not.
Just because I have made stupid choices in my life
doesn't mean I am stupid.
Listing of Grievances-
--oh, we should come and visit you but
it is so far... really Mom and Dad it is about 15 miles
yet you are so quick to hop in the car to drive
50 miles to see other grandchildren
or fly thousands of miles for the other.

--just read a blog post from my oldest
and the birth of her youngest daughter.
no mention of me... and I drove 45 minutes
and waited in the waiting room
and not allowed in til she was born...
that hurt and it hurt a lot.... but still
it is worse that I was not even mentioned.
just my other daughter's presence was noted.
(selfish aren't I?)
maybe I am a shitty gramma and they all hate me

--teens are well known for hurting so I won't bother
with that huge list

I am too sensitive but my life is really
bad right now and I am trying hard to
fake it.
and live.
and praise God for what I have
and pray that He returns my 3 youngest children to me\
with all this torture
any other pain
is difficult to tolerate.
Sometimes I feel blessed just to have a
stranger be kind
they don't know me
they don't judge me.

Top Tracks for JJ Heller (playlist)

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Warning to stay at home moms

It is a noble  career to be a stay at home mom
It is the most important and difficult job on this planet.
It is also dangerous.
for you
a woman.
You may  be happily in love with your husband now
and I pray you will always remain so.
Sadly this is not always how it works out.
Those precious years you have spent
raising a healthy well adjusted child
could be damaging to you  and your children
One day Hubby decides his secretary is nicer
hotter and has no spit up on her shirt.

He leaves.
You don't understand him anymore.(or so he says)
No income
No recent job resume

\what next?
court, child support if you can get him to pay
then custody trial.
Well then
You can't support the children in an acceptable manner?
You had to move in with your parents
and squeeze all of you into their basement?
That's not acceptable for the children.
Hubby is in a much better place to care for the
children financially.
Oh, this won't happen to you?

Monday, February 18, 2013



 [nahr-suh-sist]  Show IPA
a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.
Psychoanalysis a person who suffers from narcissismderiving erotic gratification from admiration of his or her own physical ornamental attributes.


 [mi-soj-uh-nist, mahy‐]  Show IPA
a person who hates, dislikes, mistrusts, or mistreats women.


  [breyn-wosh-ing, -waw-shing]  Show IPA
a method for systematically changing attitudes or altering beliefs, originated in totalitarian countries, especially through the use of torture, drugs, or psychological-stress techniques.
any method of controlled systematic indoctrination, especially one based on repetition or confusion: brainwashing by TV commercials.
an instance of subjecting or being subjected to such techniques: efforts to halt the brainwashing of captive audiences.

The above are not my definitions.


Have you met my ex husband?  Just a warning -- do not get on his bad side.
He will try to destroy you

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Hug a varmint.

Happy Ground Hog Day...

On this  odd holiday of
celebrating the intelligence of
a varmint...
I wish you great  uh, um,
or at least not too much
sadness, right?
Now in real life there are
days where we have to
interact with vermin
and rodents....

it is not easy and very hard
to exterminate them legally.

Now back to groundhogs
silly animals it's February 2
of course it will be winter for 6 more weeks.
but as we ponder the classic movie

and the feeling of  the same thing
just a different day
endless repetition of mundane chores
that's depressing

so in Honor of our might Groundhog
do something spontaneous today
something you have never ever done
something that your friends would
never expect you to do
some examples:

handgliding..... never ever gonna do it

pole dancing--  wish I could do it
but think of the ER visit after I fall off.

never skied... never will sorry  :(

why, just tell me why?
anyway it is a double whammy today

Groundhog Day and Saturday
Party on.