I miss you

I miss you

Thursday, April 28, 2011


(legal disclaimer--this will violate just about everyone's civil rights)

shut up, you  loser,  I'm not gonna clean it, shut up or I'm gonna throw your castle away and your stupid dolls,  you faggot,  you suck, you're ugly, you're fat,  you smell,  i hate you,  you little pervert,  i'm not gonna clean it (they say that a lot) ,  you are white,  you're gonna get in trouble,  mother fucker, i'm gonna slap you, i am gonna freaking kill you,  fatty,  faggot, ya,go all josh on me,  zit face, consuela you're mexican,  time to freakin' die you ugly hags,  nigger, cracker, sissy, there are  boogie men under your bed, do it again,  ask mom,  mom said,  i swear to god i am gonna kill both of you,  i didn't mess it up,  you suck,  wtf, omg,   i didn't do it,  get her,  go ffreakin die,  that's mine,  mom, she stole my shirt,  I have nothing to wear,  get out of my room,  my weave is on the floor,

(it goes on and on)

when I wanted to be an interpreter

back in the fairy tale days of highschool
when i planned on being a career woman
specifically an interpreter at the UN
hold on   --- fantasizing
oh ya
i have 8 kids instead that part is fine
its the 2 ex husbands and dog right now that are irking me
\mostly the dog
cuz she hate thunder
and is now destroying my kitchen
````````stupid bitch

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Watch me go potty

ah,  5 yr olds.   she hates to be alone in the bathroom  wheras I would kill to be alone in the bathroom.  Not often possible in this house of 4 girls one boy and ONE bathroom.  I get up at 5 AM just to get in the shower.  and the bathroom door should not be locked while taking a shower since 5 other people need to get in to use the toilet and brush teeth (ha  that's funny --  who does that??). 
9 yr old is trying to explain that in September 5 yr old will have to potty alone ... in her own stall at school.  oh, the tears are flowing like a river  which just eggs the other girls on.   but we do put the FUN in dysFUNctional.   

Monday, April 25, 2011


lovely day
patience rode her bike for a mile as i ran along side her.
then she played school with her american girl doll  kanani

teens arrive at home
dallas(14) and dakota(13) proceed to torture 5 yr old patience by
scaring her and screaming for no reason

mack(16) along with his friend now light sticks on fire (like survivor)
and run around the yard 

stereo blasting with music (unedited)  so we are grooving to "tonight i'm f*cking you"
so much fun here.   seriously no wonder the little kids are horrible and fresh
dallas is imitating a pole dancer   but hey she did put away the dishes that have been sitting there for days
what do the parenting mags say about this??  geesh...try parenting in a world where you can no longer smack your kids, and add a non custodial parent that tries to micromanage yet is unable to help in any practical  way   ---he has no driver's license (OUI)

take away laptops, i-pods, ds i, cell phones---i'd rather take them out in the woods and beat them


weirdness is the place i am in
i am a gram,a mom,a daughter
no longer a wife
i have grown kids, teen kids, little kids
old house, no money
a cat and dog

as it has been the case for all my life
i don't fit in
i can't hang with friends my age
cuz they have the  freedom of grown kids that i don't have

moms of 5 yr olds are my daughter's age or younger..

and i am still letting my parents down after all these years
that is a burden i need to let go of.

my kids ignore me and disrespect me
and then laugh at me and expect me to laugh along

fyi--it hurts

clothing shift

ok today is the day to switch out my winter clothes for summer clothes.
gonna be tears shed  since I am a fatty now.  ugh.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy Resurrection Sunday

just have a few minutes.
sonrise service starts at 7AM
which would be fine normally
but so many midnight calls from K-pin (my ex) about showing up with the police today.  I asked him why?  cuz he wasn't invited so he is bringing the police?????? 
hint: if you are going to drunk call people at midnight   try not to call the one who you are suing for custody of your children---on the basis that you are a better parent.  LOSER.

so enjoy your day peeeps  lol  can use that word today for sure\
cheap ham and potatoes for dinner  

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Saturday Morning-still so quiet~only birds chirping

ok... so much to do.
Easter Dinner to buy
Easter Baskets to fill
Laundry ---  ugh  not easy when it is raining
House to clean
\find some money for gas to get to the store and
find more money to purchase above items
 wonder how the money tree in the yard is doing~~
guess I will just have to pull it out of my butt as usual-- tee hee
enjoy this blessed day
Tomorrow  Sonrise Service 7 AM at Hope's Rest Cemetary...
yes, we will be the crazy Jesus Freaks singing!  can I get an AMEN?

Friday, April 22, 2011

Friday NIght

so glad to be home.\
still haven't gotten anything for Easter dinner or baskets for kids or grandkids.
so little money
gas has gotten out of hand.  $20 is like $5 used to be.  I spend $100+ a week in gas and really don't go far.
and don't say ride a bike cuz I don't think there are any with seats for 5+ kids.,

may go give my  little Hiram a tickle or two and then hit the hay....
no words of  wisdom tonight.
will quote a sticker I bought  ~~I am still hot, it just comes in flashes now.~~
~~You say bitch like it's a bad thing~~   the biitch one I put on my motorcycle helmet.  lol
next weekend is gonna rock!!!!!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Brilliant disguise

yup, you guessed it....  Bruce Springsteen  cd  in the van tonight.   like this song    'we stood at the altar,the gypsy swore our future was bright, but in the wee wee hours, maybe baby, the gypsy lied"

just replaying in my mind what a fool I was during my second marriage..  believed everything he said and I thought he walked on water.   that's first mistake-worshipping a human.  and so many other mistakes.  but 4 great girls so I have no regrets  (this applies to the first marriage, too, but he was even worse-physically abusive,)

when you look at me you'd better look hard and look twice--it it me baby or just a brilliant disguise..?

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

school vacation

-----yard work as kids watch TV

just luv it when my 9 yr old daughter has a friend over and they totally exclude my 5 yr old daughter  to the point of tears and tantrums.
oh, well it is a good life lesson to learn that as mean as your siblings may be you will meet meaner people once you hit the real world.

so glad I paid the cable bill and got it turned back on yesterday--what would the cherubs do without TV phone or internet??/---probably
call child services on me with an abuse/neglect complaint

think I broke my middle finger (right hand) when I dropped a granite boulder on it..... guess I will  have to use the left one til it heals

so if I just look at the gardens and one small area   my yard looks great.  now if i can get a dumpster to put all the junk from the guy who used to live in my shed...  ah, a long story. 

and in the midst of all this  I am trying to cut back on my alcohol consumption.....   idiot I am

Kathy Handley

Kathy Handley

motorized scooters

...are not for 47 yr olds.   Mack let me try it but it accelerated and I panicked and bailed off...landing heavily on my leg (tried to roll like in the movies)   big bruise this morning...LOL  I seriously crack myself up..
off to more raking of the yard.
sweetest boyfriend offered to get a dumpster for me xoxox  what a cutie
my brother called and wondered why the kids don't help ----  gosh I had to laugh. 

Monday, April 18, 2011


So I have failed as a daughter
`didn't go to college
`didn't become successful
`married 2 idiots
`had way too many kids
`can't support myself
`disappointed my parents

So I have failed a parent
`so my mother hints
`my children are rude
`my children  are disrespectful

JUST GONNA SAY HERE   get over it.
i don't do drugs
i have never been arrested
i have a job a car my license  clothes food shelter for my family
friends that love me  even when my family thinks I suck

so badly I would like to take my last few hundred bucks and book a flight to somewhere warm and never ever come back
leave you all in the lurch to pick up the pieces after I am gone
but i won't 
and everyone knows that
i will stay here and take the  abuse from all directions
paste fake smile on my face andsuck it up  



funny as I was looking forward to watching the Boston Marathon on TV   and my cable is off (cuz I must have forgotten to pay the bill)
luckily the internet is still working
dug out some VCR tapes for the youngsters to watch while the coffee drips....priorities

so guess I will zip down the road to comcast/ Xfinity and give them some money---  annoyed that I haven't yet won the Mega Millions.  although Ross did win $40 in Keno last night

nice ride on the road King...  even though I am 47 there is nothing like the thrill I get from sitting on the back of the Harley as we fly down the road--even in the cold (50 degrees)

Saturday, April 16, 2011

zero tolerance

I have zero tolerance for manipulation from non-custodial parents.   vacation plans were made weeks ago
why do men feel they need to control everything.  if only I was independently wealthy I could tell him to buzz off for ever....hasta la vista
something funny
dallas at Red Robin tonight....used her garnish (aka huge piece of lettuce) as a hat....cute and many glances from all diners waitstaff  ah, kids are funny


so much to do
so little desire
walked the dog, took a shower
but that only killed an hour

Thursday, April 14, 2011

U want a ride?? U gotta pay

new idea actually got it from my boyfriend (a man who has never been married and has no children***!!!)  Kids want rides/whatever...then I refer to my ignored chore list and see what 'hours'  aka minutes they have logged and if it equal the amount of 'time' I will have to spend driving them or working extra to pay for then they can do it.....simple... but they will crap their pants.

Sunday, April 10, 2011


Find me on Twitter


blogging without swears

ain't easy
but the fecal matter in my life just keeps rising....   humping female dog of ex's aunt wouldn't even look at me.. am sure her cow of a daughter is filling her  head full of lies...
     massengil bag of a  day in court...  off to trial   but i think the judege wants to  use ex's intestine for sausage casing......   even my atty can't wait to watch the   k-pin show. 

just want to say   HUMP OFF  to all my haters and judgers.....  go molest yourself

Saturday, April 9, 2011


seriously difficult  seems though men don't take me seriously when I say I have 8 kids and they mean the world to me and come first...
then i get flack cuz i don't have enough time to spend with them.

but would i ever get married again???  

Thursday, April 7, 2011

so glad my head didn't explode

phew, yesterday after work was fun *not* 
drove all over picking up kids
but hey Dallas was in her first track meet...she ran the mile
Liberty tried out for Cheering but not sure she wants to do it this year.
Patience cried all the way until til I put on the T Swizzle (Taylor Swift) cd...that always calms us down
ttfn, my coffee is done and off to facebook.
tomorrow is a big huge day....
fingers crossed

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Washington Crosses the Delaware Diarama

ideas?   really what the heck am I doing (another!!!) 3rd grade project for?    just going into Michaels craft store was torture enough for me
crafts?? scrapbooking....makes me want to slit my wrists just thinking about it
who are these mothers that do all this stuff and home school and volunteer and ugh....
just hit 80k on my mini van and absolutely no funds or credit to repair/replace if anything at all goes wrong .


off  to pick up kids  AGAIN

Sure, you want a ride....what have you done for me lately?

can I spout off about the laziness of my children?
just want to vomit...........
gonna start posting photos of their rooms....
Wow what a windy day


Wow, I did it.