Top actions of an alienating parent
- Doesn’t inform you of upcoming school activities (especially unexpected ones)
- Expresses no enthusiasm for fun events you’re doing with the child (vacations, amusement parks, etc)
- Limits child’s cellphone and computer usage, so you’ll rarely get a call, text, or email
- Refers to you by your first name in their home (Dad becomes “David;” Mom becomes “Julie”)
- Accomplishes a post-visitation shakedown, extracting as much info as possible to find negatives
- Hands the phone directly to the child when you call, avoiding even civil conversations with you
- Pops anti-depressant pills (as many have a history of depression)
- Able to hold resentment towards young, innocent children (ie, your children from another marriage)
- Never calls you when the child is sick or taken out of school
- Teaches the child adult things to tell you, such as “I don’t feel comfortable about the duration of our summer visitation, Dad”
- Teaches the child how to despise or hate another human being
- Labels themselves the “good” parent; labels you the “bad” parent
- Tells the child false stories about their childhood
- Tells the child in vivid detail how he or she was victimized by you (while taking no blame at all for the divorce)
- Teaches the child how to lie to you (coating their little hearts with false malice and scorn)
- Diminishes your extended family’s worth
- Neglects to have the child call you for your birthday, on New Year’s Eve, or other important dates
- Refuses to help the child reach and call/email/mail cards on relatives’ birthdays on your side of the family tree
- Uses child’s cellphone as a leash
- Rarely if ever a call to you on Father’s Day or Mother’s Day on behalf of child
- Never gets the child excited about seeing you
- Reminds the child of all that he or she will be missing while with you and away from them
- Inflicts his or her unhappiness onto the child (as alienators are deeply unhappy people)
- Attempts via a lawyer to reduce visitation to that even below family court minimum standards
- Takes the child out of state without a peep, while demands precise details whenever you travel with them
- Monopolizes the child’s time for hours on the phone (if you let them)
- Views any event in the child’s life– a distant Aunt’s birthday, a friend’s birthday, etc– as more important than their time with you
- Teaches the children from their current marriage to despise you
- Informs children of alienator’s plans for them past 18 (you’ll go to college at X, and will stay here with me)
- Is jealous of anything fun and memorable you do with the child (as they view the good times as a threat)
- Gripes about things you’re doing as a parent to the child, but says nothing to you about it
- Has outbursts around the child (extremely dramatic ones)
- Lacks a filter, spilling any adult topic into the child’s head
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